Have you ever experienced the heartache of a break up? Even when you were the one that called it off, it can still be painful. Endings often are. If you are going through a break up, then this post is for you. I’ve put together a few survival tips to navigate your way through. Also after reading this you can check out the grief and loss page here, where there are more tips which are also relevant to break ups. You might feel like you are stuck in a hole but I hope you find this post encouraging.
1) Choose your support network
Instead of talking to anyone and everyone about the break up, making it headline gossip; choose wisely a handful of people that you totally trust who can be a listening ear, and a helping hand should you need it.
2) Get Space
Maybe spend some time somewhere pretty to think about;
a) where it went wrong?
b) what was your responsibility in that?
c) is there anything that I can do better next time?
d) are there any issues from my past experiences in relationships that need resolving before moving on to someone new?
Don’t ruminate for too long, organise and book in the help you need, whether that’s counselling or prayer.
3) Get Active
Sometimes the reaction after a break up can be to go out on the rebound and find someone else, or maybe its to get drunk or take drugs, to alleviate the pain. I guess in the long run this only makes things worse, and its that ‘morning after the night before’ feeling on top of the ‘break up’ feeling that is just the worst! Instead, why not reconnect with friends you may have neglected because of your ex and go out and do something fun. Sign up for a marathon, or join a basketball team? Start an online course? Join a local church? Just do something to distract yourself and refocus.
4) Get Educated
There are some great books out there to help navigate future relationships. One of my favourites is Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray: buy here
Once you are aware how women and men think, feel and operate, the whole relationship thing is a little easier to navigate.
Thanks for reading. In no way is this a definitive guide. More quick fire, whistle stop help. If you need more help. Please click here.